Still Crying

Yesterday May 26, marked the six month mark of David's birth. So much healing has taken place since we said our good buys; but I still shed a tear, or two, or a hundred nearly everyday. Knowing that David is in a better place with God in heaven doesn't really make it any easier. I'm selfish and I wish he were here with us.

I've started to seek out some help with my healing and I've started to feel better recently, the past two months have clouded me in sadness. It can be so hard to watch my friends have babies while going through such an extreme disappointment in the dreams I had for my family.

I wanted to share with you some of my thoughts on what, based on my experience, moms going through a similar situation may want from friends and families. We want to talk about our babies. When we don't have a safe opportunity to talk about our angel babies or soon to be angel babies we feel like other people don't recognize that child as ever existing and it so helps so much with our healing. I know what you're saying, "it's so hard to talk to people about stuff like that", and I understand. If most moms going through this are anything like me, we'll give you an opportunity when we feel like we're in a safe environment. I couldn't even tell you how many times I'd bring up my David in conversation and the people I was talking with seemed to pretend as if they didn't even hear me. It's like saying to us that that child isn't important. We just want to talk and brag about our children just as you love bragging about your children and all the awesome things they do. So, if you have a friend or family member struggling with the loss of their little babe and they happen to bring them up into conversation, please lend them an ear, ask them questions and let them gush about the little ones they oh so miss.

Thank you so much to my family and friends who have allowed me to inform you of all things David. Rachel H. if you're reading this, your patient attentiveness to allow me to constantly talk about David helped me through this life changing experience in such a huge way. Miss you girl.